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Planning Ahead
Help with navigating the unknowns of the end-of-life
We make so many plans for our lives. So why don't we die that way? This doesn't mean we know how we will die or when, but it does mean we can do everything within our means to decide how we want to live our final days, how we want to be treated and cared for and by whom, and how we would like to be remembered.
Whether we are healthy, ill, or dying, by working out some details of our future care and plans we can focus on living until we die. This requires us to think through and plan for things many of us do not want to face. But facing the reality and practicalities of death can free us from some of our anxieties and fears about it.
I can help you or someone you know plan for the future and live more fully with the end in mind. Please click on the links below to explore the different ways I can help plan for end of your life care.
Decisions about your medical care
Honoring and remembering you
Your last days and hours
Practical, thoughtful supports for loved ones
Advance Care Planning
Advance Care Planning allows you to let people know what kind of health and personal care you would want in the future if you were unable to speak for yourself. I can support and help you with:
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Identifying the person you want to serve as your Substitute-Decision Maker if you cannot speak for yourself.
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Outlining your wishes, values, and beliefs for future care.
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Communicating with your choice of Substitute-Decision Maker, ensuring they are comfortable acting in this capacity and that they understand your wishes for future care.
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Discussing your wishes with others who may have difficulty understanding them or disagree with them altogether.
Vigil Planning
Vigil is Latin for "watch." In death care, we use the word vigil to mean the time during which someone is actively dying. Vigil planning is done to ensure someone's final days and hours are spent with the people they want, in a place they want, surrounded by the things they want.
I can explore and support you to answer these questions:
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Who do you want to be with you as you die? Would you like to be alone? Never alone?
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Where do you want to be as you die? At home? In a hospital? In your favorite chair?
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What do you want to see, smell, taste, touch, and hear as you die?
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Are there any rituals special to your culture, religion or spiritual beliefs, family, or yourself that you would like to have performed for you as you die?
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How do you want to manage discomfort or pain as you die? Do you mind being more sedated if it means less pain? Or do you want to be as aware as possible, even if it means being in more pain?
Funeral Planning
Funeral planning is one of the more familiar parts of death care. Some people may already have an idea about what they want done with their body after they die and what kind of funeral they would like to have. Others may have already paid for these services in advance.
I can help you answer these questions and guide you in finding professionals who can help you carry out your wishes:
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Who would you like to care for your body after you die? Your loved ones? An undertaker? Would you like to be embalmed?
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What would you like done with your body? Burial? Green burial? Cremation? Aquamation?
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If you have not already paid for these services, how will they be paid for?
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Would you like a religious funeral service? Are there any rituals you would like incorporated into your funeral service?
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Who will be in charge of completing paperwork related to your death?
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Do you want to write your own obituary? Who will write it if you don't?
After-Death Planning
Death is consequential, not just to the dying but also to those who will live on after them. Planning for life after you or a loved one dies may be difficult but it may also avoid potentially devastating situations. Thinking through what happens after a death before it happens can ease the burden on loved ones who will be overwhelmed and deep in grief. Planning ahead can help make an incredibly difficult experience slightly less so by providing practical and thoughtful supports.
I can help support you in answering these questions and finding other professionals who can help you make any arrangements you would like:
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What will the financial situation be for your family following your death?
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Do your loved ones believe they may benefit from having support after your death? Practical support such as help with meals or cleaning? Emotional support such as counselling or therapy?
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Who will be sorting through the dead person's belongings?
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Who will be notifying other family and friends of the death?
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